Posts

Smother

My home was banished long ago, It took the death of hope To let you go – Slipknot   Hope, luck, love…words that changed in meaning over time for each of us. It is not only the meaning that changed, but our reaction to them, the once comforting love became the toxicity that plague our life, the hope that we held dear in our hearts burnt everything to cinders. Apologies dear readers, I did not mean to extrapolate my piece of mind to you. But if you have been reading thus far in my sob stories, you are willing to explore these darker areas of our souls. Was it wise of me to keep hope ? Everyone pushed me to be hopeful, our society is constructed on a false system of hope that pushes each individual to go out in the world and seek what’s theirs, to hope for a better outcome. At a certain point in life, you do not wish to keep hope, you are scared of hoping, of loving, of caring. This fear drives us to seclusion, yes , you know deep down you crave to be around people, you cr

Sleepwalking

  “I’m scared to get close, But I hate being alone” I wander, into this unknown calling out to me, welcoming me with open arms, but I’m scared of the implications, or the results. Would this cause more pain and destruction? Should I just burn the bridge we made? Bridges have been destroyed before, once the waters rose above the bridge and turned into a chaotic force. Weirdly, this did not feel like much, just a fact I had to accept. What if I’m just sleepwalking? I pride myself on reading people, but I cannot still understand how to start reading you. I just get more and more confused to the point that I start to wonder whether I am living or dreaming. Time stands still and I remain in my stasis, asking over and over whether I should just shut up and disappear from here. Give me a reason to start again…

Reasons

Are we living to die? Or dying to live? Intriguing, isn’t it? How our lives can go from one end of the spectrum to the other in a heartbeat, in an utterance. Let us consider the above, why do we live? This changes from one point of your life to the other, sometimes drastically. As for me, you get the gist by now, I’m a wreck. I had to smother the reason for which I carried on throughout these arduous years, thinking that if I can kill the fire there will be light. But then again, fire is not the only light source I said to myself, I will eventually find a full moon that will guide me without consuming every inch of my being. It was dark. The darkness was suffocating and confining so I went to the wise man. Pop some candies he said, 3 per day to become a happy person. Happy? 3 per day to become devoid of any attachments, 3 per day to become numb, 3 per day to kill your ego and return to the masses. So, I extend my hand to you, will you offer me an accord to get out of this,

Adventure

People swarm your environment but yet, it does not feel like they are alive. It feels like the very essence of humanity left this world, and we remain as robots engulfed into a war for the holy, the almighty, wealth. But once in a lifetime someone comes, and it seems like there is hope after all. At first, you have been numbed to the passing of people, and you look at this person in disdain, wondering if you’ll ever be able to trust again. And yet, they seem to integrate themselves into your life with ease, and you slowly learn to accept it all. A friendship is thus born, and the melancholy drowns into the newfound happiness. You learn the definition of a new word, friend, a word that essentially loss its meaning into your contemporary world dictionary. You learn to ascribe a new value to it and start a new chapter of your life with this changed outlook on what it is to live. Over the span of some months, it feels like you’ve had years of adventure together. Life is all bright and happ

Rainbow

  The rain brought forth the rainbow, My clouds brought me something else, A mountain And asked me if I intend to climb? Whichever direction I look, it’s you looking back at me, daring me to follow, encouraging me to take a step, can I? With the scars of the past, I hesitate, I ponder whether it is worth it, or will I just be ruining another life. So, I throw myself, in the dark, hoping that when the lights come back on, you are in my arms. I have been looking up to you, convincing myself that I cannot compete, I should let go and crawl back to where I came from. But again, I am tired of remaining into the void. I finally started feeling alive, my heart started beating once more. I want to call out within you, get you to look at me for this once, this one time, and not see the actual trash but the soul I have left. Can you? I took a hesitant step, You pulled me in. In a tragic fashion, I wrapped myself in your madness and let myself go into your magic. I was never e

Shatter

  The streets are empty, The memories shattered, Your sense of self is diluted, What’s left? Nothing, utter nothingness. Dreams are just that, superfluous perceptions of our life that we have. They are fragile and are easily shattered, and together with it comes a torrent of emotions that just drown you until you suffocate and lay down your weapons, its not worth fighting it anymore.  You’ve been playing a tug-of-war for ages now, rest, give up, its not for you anymore. You're no more man, just an empty shell that was full of hope and happiness. The emptiness is felt only by you, the world will continue looking at you like the weirdo you’ve been.  Funny isn’t it? All the signs you’ve been giving out but it fell on deaf ears, your story would make someone a star on the stand-up comedy scene.  If they were listening, they would have heard the shout for help and the pain. You blast the cry for help out loud, but they think you’re just weird as always, and your tastes has always been o

Tick

 Aren’t we all just ticking time-bombs waiting to go off? One decision leads to the other, and you’re taken back by previous decisions. The ‘what ifs’ start populating your brain till you are frozen in disbelief, and you ask yourself ‘where is the way of life?’ Life ends with death, joy with sadness, but where does a lived life end?  Is it at the end of an experience, the end of great chemistry or at the douse of a fiery flame? We cross some bridges and burn them down, we invest in these bridges and watch them turn to ashes then we stop living to question ourselves Were these bridges meant to become ashes? Will we tick till we as well turn to the never ending surrounding ashes? We all go off at some point, but do we get to decide how we go out? I am just fumbling for answers but I end up with more questions Should I jump or is it worth walking the darkness? Over and over I am met with more questions. Turn the knob down, pause all the sense, and wait for the implosion to come. You’ve go