Melancholies

Are we living to die? Or dying to live? Intriguing, isn’t it? How our lives can go from one end of the spectrum to the other in a heartbeat, in an utterance. Let us consider the above, why do we live? This changes from one point of your life to the other, sometimes drastically. As for me, you get the gist by now, I’m a wreck. I had to smother the reason for which I carried on throughout these arduous years, thinking that if I can kill the fire there will be light. But then again, fire is not the only light source I said to myself, I will eventually find a full moon that will guide me without consuming every inch of my being. It was dark. The darkness was suffocating and confining so I went to the wise man. Pop some candies he said, 3 per day to become a happy person. Happy? 3 per day to become devoid of any attachments, 3 per day to become numb, 3 per day to kill your ego and return to the masses. So, I extend my hand to you, will you offer me an accord to get out of this,

People swarm your environment but yet, it does not feel like they are alive. It feels like the very essence of humanity left this world, and we remain as robots engulfed into a war for the holy, the almighty, wealth. But once in a lifetime someone comes, and it seems like there is hope after all. At first, you have been numbed to the passing of people, and you look at this person in disdain, wondering if you’ll ever be able to trust again. And yet, they seem to integrate themselves into your life with ease, and you slowly learn to accept it all. A friendship is thus born, and the melancholy drowns into the newfound happiness. You learn the definition of a new word, friend, a word that essentially loss its meaning into your contemporary world dictionary. You learn to ascribe a new value to it and start a new chapter of your life with this changed outlook on what it is to live. Over the span of some months, it feels like you’ve had years of adventure together. Life is all bright and happ

Live and let live Die and let die? Who made the rules to dictate our thought processes and determine the ‘best’ course of action? I for one, do feel like fear is not an option thus death is not a phobia. It is but an escape from the reality we live in, or at least the reality that we constructed for ourselves. Reality is distorted to be honest. What you ingest becomes your reality, as for me, my reality is shaped by my candies from the Wise man. I see things that are not real, affection, love and care. Am I a medium? I leave that to you readers to define your own conclusion, perhaps a medium of grief? Is it not that to live is to greed for even more? More time, wealth, possessions, and love. You greed when you own, you let go when you’re looking for company. Company, such a nonsensical word. Living in a world of billions of other humans, yet why do I feel different, misunderstood, alienated. Is it because I could not conform to your laws? Please…do tell…

  The rain brought forth the rainbow, My clouds brought me something else, A mountain And asked me if I intend to climb? Whichever direction I look, it’s you looking back at me, daring me to follow, encouraging me to take a step, can I? With the scars of the past, I hesitate, I ponder whether it is worth it, or will I just be ruining another life. So, I throw myself, in the dark, hoping that when the lights come back on, you are in my arms. I have been looking up to you, convincing myself that I cannot compete, I should let go and crawl back to where I came from. But again, I am tired of remaining into the void. I finally started feeling alive, my heart started beating once more. I want to call out within you, get you to look at me for this once, this one time, and not see the actual trash but the soul I have left. Can you? I took a hesitant step, You pulled me in. In a tragic fashion, I wrapped myself in your madness and let myself go into your magic. I was never e