Revival

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"Deliver me into my fate

If I'm alone I cannot hate

I don't deserve to have you"

 Corey Taylor

Funny isn't it? How this whole reading adventure has been a rollercoaster taking you down to the darkest abyss of my mind and often times showing a glimpse of light. It was not supposed to be the case, it was not the intention I set out writing this. But again, here I am taking you to a new place, a new perspective and a new direction.

I feel like a madman writing this piece, laughing and tearing up at the same time, but I would not say that I am playing in the field of insanity, it is just something more that is quite incomprehensible for me, as such I apologies for not being able to fully explain everything using words. 

This is a revival.

This is a second breath.

Is it my last breath though?

It is scary. I have never been this scared before to explore the recess of my mind. I have never been this scared to stay alone with my thoughts. But the voice in me keeps calling out to hold up strong, it will all be over soon and you will experience a second wind, just be brave for now. 

But it now permeates my dreams with such sweet feelings that it became a horror show to wake up and find that you will pick up your phone and just go on with the farce that you started.

That little voice in me, unfortunately, got an alter ego. While one keeps calling out to be positive, he keeps smothering hope. And yet, he is not wrong.

You spent years struggling and looking for something, something that can actually save you from the dredge and make you realise that you still have that kind of emotion, but then it comes to you with a cost. The price to be paid is much more than you could anticipate, it requires you to stress test the bridges that you made. It threatens to cut them down and leave you once more alone on your island.

These bonds have actually been your savior several times, they allowed you to smile at your brightest when everywhere has been cloudy, and they allowed you to pour your heart out amidst their happiness. Can you cut it down?

No

Yes

No

yes

no

stop.


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